Apologize came before words, sorry for neglected you, my blog for a certain period of time.
"Busy, busy and busy life" was what I used to uttered to my friends whenever they came across asking, "Hey girl,
how're you doing?"
In fact, I have been busy for nothing, nothing!
My mind wondered around and soulless all the time.
At times, "What is life about?" have been keep popping up in my mind.
"What are human being after for?" is one of my booby thought.
Money? Love?
Friendship? Family?
My Life
I want to live my life to the fullest, can't I?
I want to be a happy soul, can't I?
I just want to be happy all the time, can't I?
I desire a life with no worries, possible?
I wish to meet people around with my poker face, am I capable to?
I love seeing people around me smiling everyday, it's hard isn't it?
My Study
I wanted to concentrate on my study, but ended up I'm loitering around, spending my leisure time hanging on useless stuff.
I promised myself no more last-minute work, in the end?
I kept telling myself, "Start your revision now!", but.. but piles of events are coming one after one, what shall I do?
Tons of assignments is pushing me kinda hard, where my laziness kept procrastinate it almost to the due date, I loathe myself for being such a way.
My Family
No doubt that recently I spent a lesser time being with you all, I'm sorry.
Turning a cold shoulder towards me ain't a good solution, too, ain't it?
It drives me nuts whenever you tried to bear all the sufferings and pressure on your tiny shoulder but in fact, those additional is actually none of your business, stop worrying over that alright?
Stop pretending that there seems to be many worries floating on your mind.
Stop letting your mind leads you around, and please, please avoid turning a deaf ear over a conversation. It hurts!
My Society
"Oh wow! Awesome, your calender is always fully reserved! Lists of appointment awaits you!"
Joining too many clubs and society is a way of being healthy, ain't it?
However, there comes the consequences as well, pressure... pressure and pressure keep pushing me up to the highest boiling point. I can hardly stand it anymore.
My Job
The working time isn't match with mine, either way.
Stop thinking about the little sum of wages, I told myself, and pushed myself hard whenever my alarm knocks me for working time.
My Leisure Time
I enjoyed being with you.
But I can't, for tons of tons of reasons.
I wanna be with you.
But I can't, again, due to several reasons.
I wanna love you.
But I can't, freedom loves me more than I do.
Being cold and being emotional, that's me.
Preferable to be left alone, that's me.
Wanting to travel down the road by myself, that's me.
Wishing to gain more conscious, slap me and wake me up please.
I'm sorry for everything, whichever done or undone, forgive me.
Since the day we met, I'm no longer being myself, not anymore.
I've changed, I've transformed, neither to the positive nor to the negative side.
I was lost, for the sake of searching back the real me.
What is life for??
Are we study hard duly in obtaining a piece of certificate? What next?
Are we working hard in order to get a stable financial support? What next?
Are we mixing around in order to rapport a good relationship?
Are we living for the purpose of living?
Having a hectic life too??
Hitting a pause, slow down your step, lay back and starting thinking of what you want and wish to achieve.
At times, we tend to lost ourselves after doing routines task.
Are you tired? Are you lost, too?